Great Obama Satire from the UK

From The Times, July 25, 2008, by Gerald Baker

He ventured forth to bring light to the world

The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow. (link)

Comment: This is a great piece of writing. It is very clever and captures the messianic adoration being bestowed upon Obama.

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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning.
As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.


As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.

Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.

'Hello!...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'

For a long while, there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?'

Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing . . ...

'Vote for Barack Obama! - Vote for Barack Obama!'

Snow White fell to her knees, crossed herself and prayed, 'Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive...

This was plucked from a chat group where it was posted without attribution. Author unknown. For you people who may not realize this is a humor, there is no use searching Snopes to see if it is really true. It is not. It really didn't happen. IT IS A JOKE.

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Is Nuclear Energy Our Best Hope?

by Gwyneth Cravens, Discover

Despite its negative image, nuclear energy may be the most efficient and realistic means of meeting the rapidly-growing demand for power in the United States. by Gwyneth Cravens

Four years ago this month, James Lovelock upset a lot of his fans. Lovelock was revered in the green movement for developing the Gaia hypothesis, which links everything on earth to a dynamic, organic whole. Writing in the British newspaper The Independent, Lovelock stated in an op-ed: “We have no time to experiment with visionary energy sources; civilisation is in imminent danger and has to use nuclear, the one safe, available energy source—now or suffer the pain soon to be inflicted by our outraged planet.”

Lovelock explained that his decision to endorse nuclear power was motivated by his fear of the consequences of global warming and by reports of increasing fossil-fuel emissions that drive the warming. Jesse Ausubel, head of the Program for the Human Environment at Rockefeller University, recently echoed Lovelock’s sentiment. “As a green, I care intensely about land-sparing, about leaving land for nature,” he wrote. To reach the scale at which they would contribute importantly to meeting global energy demand, renewable sources of energy such as wind, water, and biomass cause serious environmental harm. Measuring renewables in watts per square meter, nuclear has astronomical advantages over its competitors.”

All of this has led several other prominent environmentalists to publicly favor new nuclear plants. I had a similar change of heart. For years I opposed nuclear power, but while I was researching my book Power to Save the World: The Truth About Nuclear Energy, my views completely turned around. (link)

Commentary

If one accepts the scientific consensus, as I do, that global warming is a very serious problem and must be addressed and be addressed soon, there is little to be encouraged about. Kyoto has been a dismal failure. The world's output of greenhouse gases continues to increase rather than decrease. The carbon trading and carbon off-set mechanisms are scandal-ridden and are ineffective. In 2007 the US passed new CAFE standards, which will take years to have any impact and then, only minimal. In 2008 the US Congress considered, and wisely rejected, a seriously flawed Cap and Trade bill. If the next Congress should revive and pass the bill, it will enrich some, at the expense of others. It may also very well destroy the economy, while having minimal impact on our carbon output. The G-8 summit passed a very weak declaration to do something about global warming, someday and even that was rejected by India and China. The promise of ethanol turned out to be false. Ethanol has led to higher food prices, increased starvation in the undeveloped world, and has done little to curtail greenhouse gases.

Looking for bright spots in a gloomy picture, gas prices have increased, which for the first time ever has resulted in Americans reducing the amount of driving they do. The bad news is that politicians of both parties are pandering to a public which wants lower gas prices. Another piece of good news is that, thanks to the efforts of oilman T. Bone Pickens, there is a major push to promote wind power. This renewable resource looks like a viable, alternative energy source. Wind power alone, however, can not meet our energy needs.

Nuclear energy may be our best hope. Nuclear energy may be able to curtail global warming in time to avoid a calamity. This energy source would definitely have to be coupled with other alternative sources of clean energy; policies that curb carbon consumption, and futher investment in some promising new technological developments in carbon sequestration. Nuclear is not without its problems, but not using nuclear energy is more threatening than using it. In the above article, the author makes this argument. Unfortunately, many of the people who are most passionate and proactive about global warming are also the same people most passionate about stopping nuclear energy development.

James Lovestock, one of the world's most prominent environmentalist, has gone from being an opponent of nuclear energy to a proponent. This article explains why Lovestock and other rational environmentalist are now supporting nuclear energy as an important part of the strategy for stopping global warming.

Nuclear energy supplies only 20% of America's energy needs. That percentage is constantly slipping, and no new nuclear plants have been built in America in 30 years. America's energy demand continues to increase, and the US is the world's greatest contributor to global warming. If we are serious about combating global warming, we need to embrace nuclear energy.

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Can Al Gore be Taken Seriously?

Al Gore's "A Generational Challenge to Repower America" Speech

Al Gore made a major speech recently and about the economic, environmental and national security crisis that we face as a result of global warming.

He could not have painted a bleaker picture. “The survival of the United States of America as we know it is at risk”, says Gore. “And even more - if more should be required - the future of human civilization is at stake.”

He says the climate crisis is getting worse quicker than predicted. He says that within five years there is a 75% chance that the North polar ice cap will disappear during the summer months.

He advocates a program of producing 100% of our electricity from solar, wind and geothermal power within ten years, and he is convinced that we have only ten years to act. “The leading experts predict that we have less than 10 years to make dramatic changes in our global warming pollution, lest we lose our ability to ever recover from this environmental crisis.”

I respect Gore for his tenacity and sincerity. I have no clue as to whether we have only ten years to act or not. Gore had me nodding in agreement when he said we should speed up the transition to clean energy by "insisting that the price of carbon-based energy include the costs of the environmental damage it causes.” I agreed wholeheartedly with Mr. Gore when he said, “I have long supported a sharp reduction in payroll taxes with the difference made up in CO2 taxes. We should tax what we burn, not what we earn. This is the single most important policy change we can make.”

I am very skeptical, however, that even with a complete replacement of the income tax with a carbon tax and a massive government development program, that we can achieve a transition to unproven technologies and a replacement of an infrastructure based on coal and oil in such a short period of time. The expense is incomprehensible.

I also think he downplays the sacrifice that would be required and paints a rosy picture of the economic benefit of the transition. He might also just be outright saying something that he does not really believe when he says, “The way to bring gas prices down is to end our dependence on oil and use the renewable sources that can give us the equivalent of $1 per gallon gasoline”.

I think he lost all credibility with the “$1 per gallon gasoline” argument. Also, I think Mr. Gore would be more believable if he recognized a role for nuclear energy in his proposal for addressing the global warming crisis. How can one totally ignore the role of clean nuclear energy in addressing the energy needs of the world? In France, nuclear supplies 70% of their energy needs. In contrast, nuclear currently supplies only 20% of America’s energy needs. Gore seems to pretend it does not even exist.

While I hope this speech leads to serious discussions about this important issue, Mr. Gore’s speech struck me as something more like Mao Zedong’s “Great Leap Forward” rather than a serious, practical proposal.

To go to the Gore website where you can view the video and read the text of his speech, click here: link.

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Japanese Music

For all you beer drinking county music fans who are never going to consume another Bud because they are owned a Belgium company: Stop consuming country music.

One of the biggest players in the music industry in Nashville is Sony Music. Sony owns Columbia, RCA, and Epic. Sony owns the copyrights to a lot of music including the former Tree music catalogue, which was one of the biggest county music publishers. They also own the Acuff-Rose music catalogue which includes all of the Hank Williams penned tunes. Your favorite county song is probably owned by Sony.

Do you know who owns Sony? The Japanese.

Think of all the great songs written by Willie Nelson and all the great songs written by Hank Williams. Think of He Stopped Loving Her Today, Crazy, I Saw the Light, and I Walk the Line. Are these songs any less American because they are owned a Japanese company?

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This Bud's For You

Are you mad as hell that Anheuser-Busch was sold to foreigners?

Are you determined never to drink a Bud again? OK, Anheuser-Busch makes about forty brands of beer including Budweiser, Bud Light, Bud Select, Michelob, Michelob Light, Michelob Ultra, Busch, Busch Light, Busch Ice, Natural Light, Natural Ice and others. Don’t drink any of them.

Ok, switch to Miller. Well, Miller is owned by SABMiller which is a South African company. Miller makes all of the following brands so mark them off your list: Miller High Life, Miller Lite, Miller Genuine Draft, Olde English 800, Milwaukee’s Best, Mickey's, Icehouse, Hamm's, Red Dog, SouthPaw Light, and Leinenkugel's.

Ok, you say, I will drink Coors, good old Colorado Kool-Aid. Sorry, Coors is owned by the Molson Coors Brewing Company, a Canadian company.

OK, Pabst Blue Ribbon? Sorry, they are also owned by SABMiller.

Schlitz? That is another SABMiller company.

Rolling Rock? I like Rolling Rock. When I don’t drink Corona, unless Pabst is cheaper, I drink Rolling Rock. Rolling Rock, brewed in Latrobe Pennsylvania by Rolling Rock Brewery, was American before InBev bought it, then Anheuser-Busch bought it from InBev, and now InBev has bought Anheuser-Busch. So, Rolling Rock is now a foreign owned beer, again; I think.

Don’t despair. If you really want to drink American there are lots of American beers. The largest of the American brands is Samuel Adams, and there are many smaller American breweries and there are many local brewpubs across America.

But, why do you care if the parent company of your favorite beer is a foreign owned? I don’t. I am concerned about the falling value of the dollar which makes some of these acquisitions possible. But, I am just as concerned that falling dollar makes oil and other foreign good expensive, as I am that it makes American goods and companies a bargain for foreigners. I am also concerned about our tax policy that over taxes American businesses and puts them at a competitive disadvantage with foreign companies. But, I do not despair when an American icon falls into foreign hands.

Some years ago, many American’s were outraged when Rockefeller Center was purchased by a Japanese company. I think since then however, it is back in American hands. But, as far as I can tell, it did not affect me one way or the other.

Mercedes purchased Chrysler about ten years ago, and to listen to some pundits you would have thought America’s days were numbered. We are still here.

I see consolidations, changes in ownerships, and greater world wide economic integrations as the normal evolution of capitalism and see it as a positive development. It is a natural development that capital and labor will cross national borders and that the world will get smaller. Worldwide investment and trade is lifting people out of poverty and making the world a safer place. I suspect that Wal-Mart has lifted more people out of poverty than all the economic aid ever handed out. I suspect that China is less of a doctrinaire Communist state, partly due to Wal-Mart.

I have this theory: If prior to Peal Harbor, Japan would have had the same level of investment in Hawaii as they have today, Japan would have never attacked Pearl Harbor.

So, let us not despair about multi-national corporations owning your favorite beer. If it really bothers you, maybe you can invest some money in a mutual fund that invests in foreign companies including InBev. That way, you can be part owner of your favorite beer.

Let us all join hand: Red, Yellow, Black, and White; Christian, Muslim, Buddhist and Jew. Let us lift a bottle and toast the multi-national corporation, capitalism, free trade and the withering away of the nation state: “This Buds for you.”

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Budweiser Sold to Belgian Company

And I Don't Care.

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The New Yorker Cover, Obama and Michelle

OK people, lighten up. Does someone have to spell it out for you? This is satire. Does someone need to put across the top of the page, "THIS IS SATIRE"? Notice the American flag in the fireplace? See the picture of Osama Bin Laden over the fireplace of the oval office? This is funny. This is clever.

The New Yorker is generally a liberal publication. Who reads that magazine? Not Joe Six-pack. I know some of you enlightened liberals or saying, "I get it, but I'm afraid the rednecks in Tennessee, won't." Well , you are elitist assholes. OK, there are some rednecks who want get it. As about as many as there are brothers who will say, "Why they dis'en my man Obama?" I know, I know, maybe we need to keep the discourse on a sixth grade level.

I can't believe Obama called the piece "tasteless and offensive," and that John McCain agreed with him. It is "tasteless and offensive" but most humor is tasteless and offensive. That is what makes it funny. For those of you who don't get it, the cover is ridiculing the rumors that say Obama is a Muslim terrorist and similar stuff. I thought it was clever.

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Poor kids' teachers earn less in Metro

By JAIME SARRIO, Staff Writer, The Tennessean

Some of Nashville's hardest-to-educate students are taught by the district's least-experienced, lowest-paid teachers, an inequity education leaders have struggled for years to address.

A Tennessean analysis of teacher salaries and experience levels shows a clear pattern: The district's top earners with the most experience and education are more likely to work in schools with fewer poor and minority students.

Nashville's not alone. For years, urban districts around the country have been experimenting with hiring bonuses and performance incentives to try to level the playing field. Some cities, including Chattanooga, have made marked gains.

Metro Nashville has been slower to address the issue, said state officials, partly because of a historically tense relationship with the teachers union. Now the district faces state intervention because of consistently low standardized test scores for poor, black and foreign-language-speaking students. (link)

Commentary

Teachers Unions Stand in the Way of Educational Improvement

Nashville it a great city in which to live. We have a diverse economy, great parks system, and numerous universities and colleges. We have grown rapidly, but for the most part responsibly. We are big enough to have almost anything one would want but still small enough to feel like one unified city. We have a mild climate and are centrally located in a beautiful part of the country. Our downtown is booming and the city has a vibrancy and energy about it. The music scene and arts community give Nashville its own distinctive flavor. What Nashville does not have is good public education, not that it is uniformly bad. We have some schools that are excellent but we also have some absolutely terrible schools. Our school system is considered a failing system and will be taken over by the state.

The above article looks at an aspect of the problems with Metro schools. It is very well written with lots of examination of data and figures. The writer does a good job of explaining the complexity of the problem. The title sums up the story: The worse performing schools have the lowest salaried teachers. If you have an interest in the Nashville schools and missed this story, I urge you to click the above link. If you are not connected to Nashville, you may want to read it anyway, because more than likely the same situation, maybe to a lesser degree, exists in your community.

The following except from the story is very telling:

“Until this year, Metro could not offer bonus incentives for teachers in high-poverty schools because it violated the rules of the teacher contract, and the district and union couldn't agree how to do it. Now, a state law that takes effect this school year requires every district to offer incentives, and Metro will pay $4,000 to teachers willing to teach hard-to-staff subjects like math
and special education in a high-need school.”

No doubt there are various reason why poor students perform poorly. Poor students may not have had parents who read to them. They may not have good role models. They may not have parents who encouraged, disciplined, and motivated them. They may not have books and computers in the home. Everything is not equal. That being given, however, does not mean we should further handicap poor students by giving them the least experienced and lowest paid teachers.

The MNEA (Metro Nashville Education Association), like teachers' unions across America, has fought every meaningful education reform, every opportunity they had to do so. Incentive pay is common in the private sector; shift workers get shift differential pay. Jobs in high demand, demand higher salaries. Yet, the teachers unions have fought incentive pay at every opportunity. Teachers in math and science need to be paid more than teachers of literature. It is a harder course of study, and the private sector competition is higher for people with those skills.

The new bonus incentive plan mentioned above is a step in the right direction but does not go nearly far enough. Any teacher teaching in a high-needs school should earn more than a teacher teaching in the middle class suburbs. In my view, those teachers serving in majority black, inner city schools should get combat pay. There should be a special designation and specialized training and considerably higher pay for teachers who will devote themselves to serving the students that no one wants to serve.

It is time for the teachers' unions to stop being the obstacle to improvements in education, and it is time to bring the logic of economic incentives to the field of education.

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Woman Shoots Herself While Trying to Kill Mice

July 08, 2008

A Mendocino County woman who was trying to kill mice in her trailer with a gun ended up shooting herself and another person.

The 43-year-old woman pulled out her .44-caliber Magnum revolver after she saw the mice scurrying across the floor of her trailer on Highway 20 in Potter Valley, sheriff's officials said.

But she accidentally dropped the gun, which went off as it struck the floor. The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, bounced off the keys sitting on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer and grazed the man's groin before ending up in his coin pocket. Authorities did not release the shooting victims' names.

The mice escaped the shooting unharmed.

Commentary

The above is not a joke. It is a true story. I've known some people that that could happen to.

If you try to kill mice in your trailer by shooting them with a 44 Magnum, you might be a red neck.

Here are some other signs you might be a redneck.

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Paragon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

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What would Jesus fly?

I guess that ever since there has been religion there have been religious charlatans. It never seems to change. A Jim and Tammy Faye Baker fall in disgrace and there are several Benny Hinns to take their place.

World Magazine reports that all six of the televangelists under investigation for potential abuse of their tax-exempt status by the Senate Finance Committee own corporate jets. In addition, there are about 25 other churches ministries that own luxury jets. I don’t know that owning a luxury corporate jet makes you a crook, but it does seem that in most cases a corporate jet is an indulgent luxury. If you are a for-profit corporation answerable only to your stockholders, or a rock star: Go for it. Churches should be held to a different standard.

Jet airplanes do not come cheap. According to this report an entry level used jet cost about $2 million dollars and a top of the line jet goes for about $50 million. Neither are they cheap to operate, costing anywhere from $2000 to $10,000 an hour. One of the ministries, Crenshaw Christian, flew 700 trips between Los Angeles and New York City in a five-year period yet these two cities are connected by more than 20 commercial flights a day. Kenneth Copeland’s ministry owns three jets, including a Cessna 750 the fastest civilian airplane available in the world.

I can understand the caution that Congress has traditionally taken in investigating religious institutions. Separation of Church and State and freedom of religion are important liberties in America. I don’t want the government telling Churches how they can spend their money or what beliefs are acceptable. There is always the danger that government may be selective in investigating those ministries that take unpopular positions. Just because there is the danger that government may overstep its bounds and abuse its power however does not mean that government must take a hands-off approach.

Just because an organization calls itself a church does not mean they should be allowed to avoid taxes unless they are legitimately functioning as a church. There must be rules to determine what is a legitimate religious organization. If ministries are to have tax-exempt status, they need to be held to the same standards as other tax exempt organizations. Investigating religious institutions is a delicate undertaking but one that needs to occur.

Working most of my life with poor people, I know some of the people who are sending these televangelists their money. It is little old ladies living on $850 a month social security and skimping on their medicine so they can support these ministries. The televangelist flying around in their corporate jets and living in mansions owned by their ministry have no shame. If there is a judgment day, I hope the charlatans using religion to prey on the weak, ignorant and gullible are judged harshly.

To read the World magazine article, click the title.

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Barack Obama: Jesse Jackson apologises for comments

Jessie Jackson: "See, Barack been talking down to black people on this faith based ... I want cut his nuts off ... Barack ... he's talking down to black people."

It seems that Jessie Jackson is unhappy with Barack Obama because in a Fathers Day speech, Barack called upon Black men to step up to the plate and take responsibility for the children they bring into the world. It seems that Jackson would much prefer for Obama to talk about "collective moral responsibility of government and the public policy." The way Jackson sees it, if you talk about personal responsibility that is "talking down to Black people."

If Black people accept that it is their own self-destructive behaviour that is a major contributing factor to the social problems, crime rate, and poverty in the Black community then they may not follow a demigod like Jackson who wants to blame all the problems of the Black community on racism and the White man.

To see the video of Jackson making the statement quoted above and read the story, click on the post title above.

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